Everything I Cannot Have
by intoxicatelove
Summary: He did not want to dishonor Raimundo's position of leadership, did not want his friends to suspect him of betrayal and put him in a state in which he was judged... and now, Chase Young rendered him everything he could want, yet he could not have.


A/N: Random Chai idea that shot into my head. Hope you enjoy~

. . .

 _Everything I Cannot Have_

There was a certain feeling erupting deep within Chase Young that he seemed to want to suffocate to avoid overthinking or rarely worrying about it, yet it was not possible for he'd already given in to the feeling from the very beginning. He did not care for such things—it even annoyed him when he even began to develop any kind of feeling. A man of his status should not be concerned with the feelings for another, but when it came to this one—this boy whom he had too much respect for in the first place, he sighed, making a place for him in the small, scarce group of people whom he would not tolerate to be harmed.

This person was of course the Xiaolin's own leader, Raimundo Pedrosa.

Maybe it was because Chase Young was once the Dragon of the Wind before turning to the Heylin side, more or less not of his own absolute free will, which really didn't matter anymore, he felt inclined to "protect" him in a way that he never knew he was being protected and in a way those who tried to harm him backed off. If it ever came to the point where he had absolute control of the world and all of his adversaries gone, Chase thought to himself that he'd most likely spare the boy, and not his friends (they weren't worthy of being spared) despite this unavoidably saddening the boy, to see his friends gone.

But now, the warlord could not get the boy off of his mind. At the age of 19, Raimundo would be considered mature, his previous cockiness and rash demeanor already diminished to take on a more serious persona which both honestly impressed Chase and surprised him. He'd gotten much more stronger since his transition to Shoku Warrior and leader and it came close to a challenge to defeat him alone. His friends would have much more work to do before they reached the same kind of challenge Raimundo was to him.

Chase remembers seeing his smile, briefly, after winning a Showdown against him. Chase posed a great challenge and yet the man was defeated by the Shoku leader in a matter of several minutes, surprising even his friends. For some odd reason, Chase was not angered at his loss, but rather intrigued. When he saw that smile coming from Raimundo, he had to avert his eyes. Too sweet, too _kind._ He hated it, or so he thought.

Now he began to observe Raimundo whenever it came time for him to participate in a hunt for a rare Wu he did not want the Xiaolin nor the other Heylin getting their hands on. Raimundo would embrace his friends if they had a failed Showdown, and tend to any wounds they may have had before helping them on Dojo's back and flying off with their honor still intact on their backs. He would treat them as siblings that he needed to protect at all times. His leadership did not get the better of him and still he retained the same personality he had, plus the newfound maturity. He wasn't selfish but rather selfless, another trait to the leader that Chase respected.

He would make it so most Showdowns were initiated with Raimundo, taking note of his fighting style and the gracefulness of how he used his wind element. In the circumstances that Raimundo lost, he did not look at Chase with malice and simply accepted it. He also noticed Raimundo would lecture his friends if they used a "cheap" tactic, or what they considered a Spicer tactic (though surprisingly, Jack Spicer started to get "better"—not enough to frequently win Showdowns, but enough to actually defend himself) and would make them redo the Showdown right there and right now! He may have been a generous leader, but he wasn't a pushover at all.

Raimundo intensely deepened Chase's intrigue. The warlord did not want to admit to himself why this was, and he knew perfectly clear, what it was. Chase would simply try to avoid the situation, however, with things like these, fate had a habit of initiating cruel irony with Chase.

Such as now, when Chase literally jumped up from his throne to see the object of his mind standing right in front of him, with his arms crossed.

"In the name of Dashi's carcass, _how_ did you avoid my warriors nonetheless appear before me without my knowing!"

Raimundo chuckled, taking amusement in Chase's surprised expression.

"A tip, Chase," he began. "You might want to commission Spicer for some more modern security, it'll be to your benefit."

Chase rolled his eyes, like he would pay Spicer for technology that could be destroyed by any means.

"I will do no such thing. Why are you here."

"I want to know why you choose to constantly initiate Showdowns with me and fight me only. I hope you don't think my friends are weak."

 _He actually noticed. He intrigues me even more…_

There was no use in lying…. No use in telling the absolute truth, either.

"To test your skill."

"Bullshit," Raimundo replied. "You already know how skilled I am from the _ten thousand_ times you've fought only me. Kimiko joked and said you must have a crush on me or something."

Chase coughed. "Mind that tongue of yours."

"I'm here for an answer, Chase. Right here, right now. I am not afraid of you and I hope you know that," Raimundo said strongly, walking forward to Chase.

"So, are you going to tell me now? Because I'm not adversed to fighting you one more time to make it ten-thousand-and-one for it."

 _He is everything I want but everything I cannot have… and yet I thought I was satisfied._

Chase extended his hand towards Raimundo's face, touching an unruly strand of his hair. Raimundo wanted to pull away, wanting to open his mouth to speak yet not knowing _what_ to say. The warlord closed his eyes and closed the space between the two of them so that their bodies were almost touching. He moved his hand from Raimundo's strand of hair to his lips, tracing them gently.

"I cannot do this to you…" Came Chase's reply. "I want to kiss these lips, I want to relish in pleasure with you, but I _cannot do this to you and it_ _ **angers**_ _me._ "

Raimundo lightly moved Chase's hand away, a sign that he is not disgusted as he is still standing there.

"What you're trying to say to me is that you've developed some sort of affection for me? And you can't do anything about it, hm. Seems to me like there's something holding you back."

"Damn it, Raimundo!" Chase said. "I do not want to dishonor your position as leader. I do not want your friends to suspect you of betrayal and put you again in a state where you are judged!"

Raimundo closed his eyes. "And if there was a possibility that both could still stay intact, what then, would you do?"

Chase smirked. "Would you like me to speak on what I would do, or would you like a demonstration?"

Raimundo 'hmphed', shaking his head. "You're right, though. I am a Xiaolin Warrior… I can't betray my friends. I care about them too much. I swore… never again will anything tempt me to evil."

"And it's why your master chose you," Chase replied. "Forgive me for an act of selfishness… I'll let you go for one thing only."

"What would that be?"

Chase cupped Raimundo's cheek. "I believe you know. Just one… and I will be satisfied, and you never have to think of this again."

Raimundo nodded. "Go ahead."

Chase immediately pressed his lips against Raimundo's. It would be the first and the last. A desire out of reach due to circumstance.

 _Everything I want…_

Chase almost broke the kiss once he felt tears not of his own, but of Raimundo's.

 _Yet everything I cannot have…_

He would erase Raimundo's memory of his visit once he left, and keep his own desire locked away. It was for the good of the both of them.

But even after Chase did the deed, for once, he would be reluctant to face the warrior ever again.

. . .

A/N: Bittersweet, but I like Rai being loyal to his friends. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews always welcome~


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